The God of Numbers [Complete Short Story]

I see you have found my journal. Let me dive straight in: my name is Vsvt, and I am from the planet Kt. I am the greatest mathematician of my time. My specialty is identifying and solving mathematical abnormalities within other studies of math such as Calculus, Physics, Fynomotry, Dtkthics, etc. I am most well known for creating the mathematical study of Axinmogry.

Axinmogry is observing the movements of subatomic particles within these mathematical abnormalities, and writing those movements on rare, difficult to manufacture Dark Stalk Paper™. Dark Stalk Paper™ can never be destroyed or tampered with once written on; it and its contents will persist forever. That is why my journal is written on Dark Stalk Paper™, so its contents will be preserved for future generations. Anyway, writing down the movements of subatomic particles on this special paper gives these mathematical abnormalities a physical form and a place in this universe; they can no longer move in unpredictable ways.

I have recently discovered that a certain pattern of movements repeats quite frequently and that specific groupings of these movements written down can manifest physical, abnormal effects. I have been able to reach the source of these mathematical abnormalities through painstaking exploration and experimentation. The source is called the God of Numbers. I have taken this source for myself and have become a God. With my ascension, our civilization is now entering the “Era of Gods.” I have seen a plethora of Gods out there to discover but, only those worthy will be able to take the mantle.

I have left this journal to start your journey into Godhood. I am the first, the guide, to help calculate your path to Godhood. Through me, you will discover the God you are meant to be.

When I wrote 1%7 and 3 on Dark Stalk Paper™, I suddenly had seven hands; one hand had become seven hands. I panicked at first but after a while, I grew used to them. I flexed them, opening and closing each one of my seven hands; they felt very much real. I experimented and tried to do the dishes with these seven hands but I could not grab anything because they were not real. When I realized they were just a visual trick, they disappeared, and I had only one hand again.

What a strange occurrence. Nothing like this has ever happened to me when I wrote abnormal numbers on Dark Stalk Paper™. I must find more abnormal numbers and see what sorts of strange effects I can create.

When I wrote 32,-09 and 47.503.0, my vision went dark. I started to panic, thinking I had been blinded but, I realized that my eyes were closed, so I opened them.

When I opened my eyes, I was standing before an endless, pale yellow ocean. But something about the water was not right. Upon closer inspection, I saw that the ocean was not made out of water. It was made out of writhing maggots. Millions upon trillions of tiny maggots, squirming and wriggling like a massive organism. When I realized this, they all stopped moving and opened their eyes. They all slowly turned to look at me, and then they all screamed. The sound was terrible, more terrible than nails on a chalkboard or the sound of fingernails being torn off fleshy fingers. They were screaming numbers, but I could not comprehend these numbers.

I squeezed my eyes shut, covered my ears, and sat there for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, the noise stopped, when I opened my eyes, I saw that I was back at my desk. That frightened me so terribly. I do not know if I want to continue to do this…

It has been a few weeks since my terrible experience with the ocean of maggots. The terror has worn off and curiosity has overtaken me. What were those numbers the maggots were screaming? They were numbers I was not familiar with, and I am the greatest mathematician of all time. I will do a little meditation to clear my mind and then write some abnormal numbers again. I need to know what those maggots were screaming about.

* * * * * *

I wrote 636,636,363 and -11.11^11 on Dark Stalk Paper™, my throat immediately felt funny and itchy. I kept scratching and scratching; however, the itch would not go away. I went to the mirror to look at my throat. It had a lilac tint, like a weird bruise was starting to form. Strange frequencies and vibrations were softly coming from my throat. “What in the great universe is happening to me?” I thought.

* * * * * *

I rubbed some anti-inflammatory solution on my throat and followed up with a little numbing cream. The vibrations felt slightly uncomfortable but not painful.

Thirty minutes had passed, the frequencies and vibrations were unbearable; like nails on a chalkboard or the sensation of flesh being boiled by a flame. My throat had turned black and the layers of skin were peeling back; like it had been charred. I was not able to think clearly; I just wanted this to stop.

I decided to wash my throat with ninety-nine percent ortho-diethynylbenzene dianion. The flesh around my throat fell away to reveal a Dark Stalk Paper™ lodged in my esophagus. It fell out and I blacked out from the pain. But, as my consciousness faded, I swore I could hear the faint screams of numbers coming from somewhere.

The next morning, I woke up; my head was foggy and I felt like shit. I sat up and looked around me. I had been lying on the bathroom floor… why? I looked around and saw that there was a jar of ortho-diethynylbenzene dianion sitting on the counter and a piece of Dark Stalk Paper™ lying on the ground. My memories of yesterday came flooding back to me, I quickly scrambled up, and ran to the mirror. I looked at my throat and it was…perfectly fine? I was confused by what happened to me but, at least my throat was not damaged.

I looked down and picked up the Dark Stalk Paper™ off the ground. There were two strange equations on it. Perhaps I am to solve both these equations and write the answers down? I’ll try it out but, what will happen?

I sat down at my desk and wrote the sequence of numbers on a fresh piece of Dark Stalk Paper™. Nothing happened.

* * * * * *

Four days, four hours, and four minutes after I wrote those numbers, my whole body started itching uncontrollably. When I looked down, I could see tiny maggots crawling underneath my skin; hundreds and hundreds of them wriggling and traveling beneath my flesh. I grabbed the nearest implement near me, a spoon, and I dug into my flesh with it. I was madly stabbing and peeling away the skin off my flesh. Maggots came pouring out, there was no end to them. They filled my home and I started to drown in them. Once again, they started screaming numbers I could not comprehend. I felt my eardrums burst and felt the warm blood trickle out of my ears and down my neck. I tried to concentrate and listen through the pain and I then realized— I could not comprehend these numbers because they were larger than infinity.

The maggots had then quieted down to a whisper. I tried to listen to them again but, I still could not comprehend the numbers. My head was too small to fit these numbers inside me. I told the maggots that I am unable to receive this knowledge, and they whispered, “Soon.”

They melted away and I was standing alone in my study once more. I looked down at my body and there was not a single scratch on me. The pain I felt was a distant memory.

That night, I had a dream: a maggot the size of the sun came to me and told me to write &apm;⌡½╚ and Æ↑^+ on my forehead. I told it that I could not possibly do that because my forehead is too small and I would run out of ink. It told me I must believe my head is larger than infinity and then it started to consume the universe and it ate me.

When I awoke, I tried to write the numbers on my forehead. I could not do it because I could only write up to infinity but not past it. I also ran out of ink, so I had to use my blood. I felt like passing out because I drained a little too much blood from my body. I need to rest and recover my strength before continuing.

I decided to write the numbers on Dark Stalk Paper™ instead of my forehead because I cannot see myself in the mirror anymore. Once I finished writing the numbers, a voice came to me and told me to cut a hole in my forehead and to place the paper within this hole.

* * * * * *

I did it. It was excruciatingly painful. I passed out a couple of times, but I finally cut out a hole big enough to fit the paper inside my forehead. It was even more difficult because I could not see what I was doing since, I cannot see my reflection. A few times, I had to use my hand to feel around and see if the hole was big enough for the paper. It was pretty gross feeling inside my brain like that. Good thing I live alone in the middle of nowhere. Anyone remotely close to me would have heard the twenty-seven sounds of pain and agony I had to endure.

I still cannot see myself in the mirror. Now, I cannot see myself at all. I cannot see my hand, legs, or body. I can feel that my body is constantly changing. Sometimes I feel like I have eleven arms, now two arms, eighty-one legs, seventeen spines, eight hundred seventy-eight heads. The number of body parts fluctuates from moment to moment. As more time passes, the fluctuations speed up.

It has been twenty-seven months since I carved the damned hole into my forehead and put that paper in me. Nothing special has happened and I have not seen the maggot. It’s avoiding me. I know it. Twenty-seven times, I’ve called out to it in my dreams. I know it’s hiding in a number that does not exist anymore. I must travel back in time twenty-seven times to rediscover this number. It will not hide from me; I’ve come too far to give up this experiment.

I traveled back in time by writing ≈8.2£.33 and *○$º^&*55 twenty-seven times on Dark Stalk Paper™. I finally found the maggot inside Benjamin Banneker’s twenty-seventh interneuron.

“Congratulations.” The maggot said. “You found me. As a reward, I will give you the knowledge of all numbers. You are the only one worthy of learning something called ‘The Secret Number of Everything.’ I have been searching through time and space for someone worthy to learn this number. I discovered this number many eons ago, however, I cannot learn it because I have no eyes to see it—”

“Wait, wait, wait.” I said. “You’re telling me that you’ve been waiting eons for someone to look at some number? Can’t you just… grow eyes or ask someone to tell you what it is?”

“No, that is not possible.” The maggot said. “This number can never be spoken and I did grow eyes long ago, however I cannot understand the concept of vision. Therefore I will never be able to see anything on my own.” It paused. “If you eat me and let me become one with you, I will tell you where to find The Secret Number of Everything. If you do this, you will know all numbers and you will become a God.”

“Okay.” I said, “Well, how the hell am I supposed to eat you when you’re bigger than the sun? My stomach is too small and it would take me sixty-three thousand, six hundred and sixty-three years to eat you.”

The maggot told me, “Carve the numbers ╬ and ┼ into your stomach so that four of us can become one.”

And so, I cut myself open, carved ╬ and ┼ into my stomach, and began to consume the maggot. It took me eight hundred and eighty-eight years to devour it completely. With each bite I took, I was filled with knowledge. The knowledge became so great that I grew new heads so I could learn it all. When I was done devouring the maggot, I had three hundred sixty-two billion, three hundred sixty-two million, three hundred sixty-two thousand, and three hundred sixty-two heads. Thank you to Dylkde & Hmsvin Solutions Inc. for sponsoring this journal.

Dylkde & Hmsvin Solutions specialize in creating the correct balance of chemical compounds that your brain needs to operate normally; all in the convenient form of a yummy gummy. After consulting with one of their specialists, I learned that my body does not produce enough Acetylcholine, GAD67, Apolipoprotein E. I also produce too much glutamate, my pyramidal neurons cannot handle it so my gummies help reduce my glutamate levels. MY list of problems goes on for eons but thanks to Dylkde & Hmsvin Solutions’ gummies, my brain is finally balanced and operates efficiently. That is how I was able to become the mathematician I am today, without Dylkde & Hmsvin Solutions I would not be able to think this CLEARLY. I CAN’T FIND FUCKING MY GUMMIES. Use the coupon VsvtTwenty to get twenty percent off your first consultation and a week’s worth of gummies for free. You will not regret your ascension. Now back to my journal.

The four of us had now become one. I looked around me and realized that I accidentally ate the entire universe, space, and even time. There was nothing left, only me. So I looked inside my stomach and asked the maggot, “WHERE is The Secret Number of Everything? There’s nothing left in this plane of existence. You better not be lying to me, you filthy bastard.” Foam started forming around the corners of my mouth.

It said, “Remain calm, you ate the number in your haste to find it. You now have to eat yourself so you can search within yourself.”

And so, I ate myself so that I could try to find The Secret Number within myself.

I woke up; my head was foggy and my vision was blurry. I was sitting at my desk, feeling confused. Am I dreaming? Is this reality? What’s happening? I looked down, and I could actually see my hand, body, and feet. I looked back at my desk, and I noticed it was not a desk, or rather… It was a desk made out of strange materials. I focused my vision and saw the desk was… me.

It was a clone of me, twisted and contorted into the shape of a desk. I looked around, and everything was me. The chair I was sitting on, the floor, the walls, all my books and pens. Even the dust on my shelves, the beams of sunlight filtering through the window, and the air particles were me. All at once, they opened their mouths and started shrieking. They were crying out things that sounded like numbers, but they did not feel right. Then, they all slowly melted away, I was standing in the universe. I turned around and saw the maggot, but it was the size of an actual maggot. I asked, “What’s going on? Where am I?”

It said, “You are within yourself. By eating the entire universe, including yourself, you created a new universe in the literal image of yourself. That is why everything looks like you – because you are this universe and this universe is you. You exist in this universe and the previous universe at the same time; you have created a paradox.”

At these words, my brain felt funny. Like it’s going somewhere it doesn’t belong…

“You know… it is possible to create infinite versions of you, infinite universes. As long as they all exist inside yourself. If you wanted to, you could fold the universe into yourself again and again and again; infinitely becoming smaller and smaller and then you can-” It stopped abruptly. “I am treading on another God’s territory and I cannot talk about this anymore.”

“What do you mean?” I said, my brain was aching and I was feeling light headed. I’m used to thinking about math and numbers, not this logic and paradox crap.

“Someone else will learn in time.” The maggot said. “I will tell you where to find The Secret Number of Everything now. Once you find it, you must eat it and become a God.”

“Very well,” I took a deep breath. “Where is it? This better be the last step. I’m tired of this wild goose-chase.”

“This is very cliche but The Secret Number is hidden in the last place you will look.” The maggot said.

I nodded and then started walking away from the maggot. I walked away from everything. I walked past the planets, past stars and galaxies. I walked away from all matter, to the edge of the universe where space and time cease to exist; and kept walking. When I stopped, I turned to look back at the universe, it was like a tiny, bright marble against the velvety black background. If I wanted to, I could pick it up, put it in my pocket, and keep on walking for the rest of eternity. I did not do so, because I am trying to find The Secret Number of Everything.

I stopped and then scooped out one of my eyeballs and placed it next to the marble of the universe, making sure my eyeball was facing me, watching me. I proceeded to pluck out every single hair on my body. I then carefully peeled the layers of my skin off. First the epidermis, then the dermis, and finally the subcutaneous tissue. I slowly pulled away my individual muscle fibers and tendons. I pulled each and every vein and artery out; slicing them open and carefully laying all the parts of my body out so my eye can see everything, every part of me. Once I finished cracking open my bones and spilling out all the marrow, I picked up my remaining eye and placed it in front of the eye sitting next to the marble universe. I looked into my remaining eye and my remaining eye gazed into me.

Within my eye I saw myself, and within myself, I saw myself. I saw myself repeated infinitely, reflections upon reflections, variants, diviants, and coinvariants. I continued to look within myself until I reached the last reflection, the last number of me. I had reached the end; I turned around to look back upon myselves and I saw The Secret Number of Everything— █.

I saw The Secret Number and beheld it in awe. It grew larger and larger until it filled all empty space. I became smothered by it; I could not breathe. I pushed back but it kept smothering me, constricting me like a snake; I was in so much pain and agony. I had finally reached the end and now this shit happens. I was tired of fighting, tired of mutilating my mind and body, tired of chasing after this number. So, I stopped struggling and stopped breathing.

I felt The Secret Number gently gnawing on me. Poking at me, then biting into me and tearing off my flesh. Small nibbles at first but growing increasingly frantic and wild.The Secret Number of Everything was consuming me; consuming my knowledge. I noticed it was whispering something—very faintly. I concentrated and heard, “Find it. Find the number. I must find what I do not know. I must consume The Secret Number of Everything and become a God like the maggot told m—”

“What the actUAL FUCK?!” I screamed. I was overcome by so much anger and frustration. I started to struggle again. This… thing is also searching for The Secret Number. I cannot let it eat me, I will not let it eat me. I will devour it. I am the one meant to eat it; I’m the one who will know The Secret Number. I am the one who will become a GOD.

The thing was rummaging through my entrails, pulling organs out and eating them with primal abandon. I grabbed its paws and tore the flesh off the bone. It screamed in anger and dug its claws deeper into my entails. I started to consume it and it screamed and fought back, writhing and thrashing. My hold on it was coming loose and I was feeling faint from having most of my body consumed. I will not give up; I will succeed; I will kill it.

I tore apart its limbs, gobbled up its flesh, drank its blood, and slurped up its bone marrow. I licked up every piece and every drop; letting nothing go to waste. As I was eating, I felt myself filling with knowledge; I was learning everything about numbers. I learned of numbers that can exist but do not. I learned of numbers that existed in the past, present, and future. I learned of a number that cannot exist, will not exist, and will never exist. I combined all this knowledge within me and created a new number to become the God of this universe.

The thing I consumed was trying to fight me from within my stomach. I told it to calm down, it is now a part of me; it is me and I am it. I proceeded to rip open my six billionth, six hundred and sixty-two millionth, six hundred and sixty-two thousandth, and six hundred and sixty-second brain cell open and allowed it to look upon my The Secret Number of Everything. It…we… I started crying from the beauty. Now I can see why it wanted this number—because its existence was useless, pointless, and purposeless without that number. Overwhelmed by emotions, we made love to each other; to me. I then gave birth to negative three hundred and thirty-three million, two hundred and twenty-two thousand, and one hundred and eleven children. My children proceeded to go forth and become new numbers within my new universe.

I noticed one child had stayed behind. I looked closer, and it was the maggot, reborn as a child of the quintessential unsatisfactory wizard barbarous three half-numbers. It was laughing gleefully. With six thousand mouths, I said to it, “Dearest maggot, my child, why do you laugh so joyfully?”

The maggot, only speaking in quintessential unsatisfactory wizard barbarous three half-numbers, said, “Foolish Vsvt, have you not noticed? I have stolen The Secret Number of Everything from you, and now I shall consume it and become The God of Numbers.” It grew three and a half thousand, nine and a half hundred, twenty-one and a half mouths and consumed The Secret Number of Everything. As soon as it was finished, it started shrieking; I heard the twenty-seven sounds of pain and agony. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!” It cried out.

“Foolish maggot.” I said. “I have given you a false number to eat. A number that does not work in any universe, for it does not and cannot exist. Since you have eaten something that cannot exist, you shall cease to exist, and all traces of you will be removed.” As soon as I finished my sentence, I looked around in confusion. I do not remember what I was doing or who I was talking to.

I walked away from my new universe. I kept walking until the universe looked like a tiny marble. I picked it up and consumed it. The universe I created is now within me, everything is within me, there is nothing left except me. I decided it was now time to take my mantle as the God of Numbers.

I tore out my eyes, set them on the ground, and looked at myself. I saw that I was The Secret Number of Everything, I am a God, I am The God of Numbers. Within myself, I saw numbers giving birth to numbers. Numbers coming in and out of existence, numbers becoming smaller and larger, numbers morphing into other numbers. All an endless cycle of change.

I saw numbers that were too small and too large to comprehend. Numbers that should exist but they do not want to; numbers that should not exist but refuse to leave. So vast were the numbers that they stretched on forever. I looked at all of them, remembered all of them, and loved all of them. Then, I finally reached the last number. But it was not a number. I looked back and saw there were no numbers. Numbers do not exist, there is only a single number.

Through all my pain and agony, I have experienced every number; I have become every number, I am a number. I am the number and the only number that existed, exists, and will exist:

I