May 11, 2025, Evo Numy
Photo by Christine Leona on Unsplash
I play with my partners kitten, I create an automated pattern only head:
Do this move for 5, do that move in 7 and this thing for 5.
Let's change it up.
That move for 7, this move for 5 and this thing for 5.
I free up my mind for other tasks.
This move for 5, and this thing for 5, do that move in 7.
I think about:
I've been a bad cat mom lately.
I haven't been paying attention to my cats.
I feed them, give them clean water, change litter and provide toys.
My boyfriend built them a catio.
One of my cats comes in and observes the playing.
A pang of guilt goes through me.
I haven't been playing with them or giving them attention.
The kitten and my cat play, I try to tire them out.
I want to go outside and bathe in the moonlight but I have cats to take care of.
I'm not a good cat mom.
I don't ever want to be a Human mother.
I know I will be off doing my own thing, neglecting them.
I don't ever want to be a Human mother.
I fall into a pattern of that move for 7, this move for 5, and this thing for 5.
If I ever had a Human child, I would automate my actions like I do now.
So that I can retreat into my mind, escape this reality.
I can be somewhere I want to be and I imagine the things I want to do.
Like bathing in moonlight.
I put the kitten to bed and wait for him to fall asleep.
Thirty minutes go by.
I quietly go outside and I reflect upon my life as I bathe in the full moon.
My cat starts yelling because she's jealous, she'll wake my partner.
Regretfully, I go back inside.
I want to be left alone.
I'd rather be outside.
I am a bad cat mom.
I would be a bad Human mother.
I am a bad human.