June 09, 2025, Michelle
Photo by Maxim Berg on Unsplash
Michelle did not have a lot in life but that was fine.
She had a good heart but so many bad things happened in life.
she was regularly down in the dumps.
She was very tired, tired of life.
She didn't see much purpose in living.
She didn't mind if she went away sooner than everyone else.
“Time happened before me.
Time will happen after me.
What difference does it make? I have no impact on the world.
The cosmos existed before, it will exist afterward.
I'm just a grain of sand.
Not even that, less than a grain of sand.
Not even a quark on a proton in an atom on a grain on a beach on a planet in a solar system in a galaxy in a cluster in the Hercules–Corona Borealis Great Wall.
When you consider the scale of the cosmos.
The space between the largest observable thing and the smallest observable thing
And the largest unobservable thing
And the smallest unobservable thing,
You view things differently.
Your mind opens and you see the futility of everything.
You see how vast the universe is and how insignificant your existence is.
How the things you do, think, say have absolutely no impact on the universe.
What is the point?
What is the point in fun, boredom, kindness, meanness, struggle, contentment?
What is the point?
What's the point in anything if it all means nothing.
I don't really want to die
But I dont see the point in living either.
At this time, just going with the flow seems to ease the pain of existence.
I am Michelle.
Life sucks, it's filled with awful things, but none of it matters anyway.
So, whatever, I'll just deal with shit as it comes.
I'll try my best but there's only so much a human can do.
I'll just exist because I am existing.
Not much else I can do.”