In order to bloom, you need to know doom. Know what hopelessness feels like. Know what it’s like to find the edge of the abyss, and willingly give yourself to it. For you are tired of fighting it. When you are in the abyss you wrap yourself in cold darkness. You see no hope. No light. Life is lifeless. You are lifeless. You see negativity, you are filled with negativity, you become negativity.
“What is the point?” You ask. Why work? Why fight? Why live? Why keep on going? “What is the point…” You say. You are filled with darkness.
Another mundane day. You do your daily duties, like a robot. Numb, going through the motions. Doing what is expected of you. For you do not have the energy for anything else. As you unfeelingly go through the day. Our paths cross.
I greet you and give you a warm smile. You feel something stir within you. Who is this? What is this feeling? “Hello, how are you?” I say.
“Fine. How are you?” You flatly say.
A response so automatic, you are surprised; caught off guard. That is not what you wanted to say. I talk about how beautiful today is. How I watched the sunrise this morning. I look… so happy talking about a boring sunrise. Who is this? Why is she so happy? “Why are you so happy about a sunrise?” You ask.
“Because I get to experience another day on this wonderful planet.” I say.
Is she fucking serious? This planet is garbage. Living here is awful. Everything sucks. You are overcome with anger. Who is this naive dumbass? “Why?!” You blurt out.
“Because I live my life the way I want to.” I say.
You look at me, flabbergasted. The fuck is that supposed to mean? People can’t just live the way they want to. What about work? Rent? Car? Groceries? “Yeah sure.” You say. “I wish I could do that but you eventually need to grow up and be an adult.”
“I am.” I say with a smile. “I have a job I enjoy. It’s not high paying, but I love what I do and most of the people I work with. I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I have the freedom to do things I love, such as watching the sunrise. I have so much to be thankful for.”
You feel tears welling up. How is she so happy? Why can’t I be happy? Tears fall. “I want to be happy.” You sob, embarrassed to cry like this in front of a stranger.
“What makes you happy?” I patiently ask.
“I don’t know anymore.”
“Then look within yourself and find your happiness. You are the only one that knows yourself. Society does not know you nor do they care about you. So do not listen to what society says. Find happiness within yourself. Live the way you want to.”
As you finish wiping the tears off your face, you look up.I’m gone.
What happened that day? You are sitting, watching the sunrise, reflecting. It’s been a few months. Life has improved. Yes, there are still moments of negativity and darkness. But light is growing and continues to grow. I planted a seed in your heart. And it bloomed.
Now it is your turn. Plant a seed. Let it bloom.